Running my Race #2: Patience

Is it crazy or unusual that I look forward to my infusion tomorrow?  I’m not sure if it’s my desire to eradicate the cancer from my body as quickly as possible or to test my theory about the medications causing my blood pressure to decrease, but I really can’t wait for chemotherapy tomorrow.  Being the scientist, I also yearn for more data points in regards to the effects of the medications on my blood cells. They draw blood before every infusion in order to check my blood counts.  In addition, I’m curious if I will respond any differently this time around than the first time and of course, whether I’ll get the energy boost (i.e. insomnia) from the steroids again. 

Two weeks seems a long time to wait between treatments when I just want to get this over with and return to work.  But, alas, my impatience surfaces once more.  This brings up another similarity to running and race preparation.  You need to be patient in your training and learning.  You have to trust that your training will prepare you for the ultimate, importance race.  In running, being impatient can lead to injuries or setbacks particularly if you push yourself too hard, too fast, too soon.  It can cause a similar impact with cancer.  Pushing oneself or the treatment regimen too hard, too fast, too soon can lead to infection, increased fatigue and worsening side effects.   

Patience is necessary in many aspects.  We must be patient to allow our practice and preparation to strengthen us and carry us mentally toward the finish line and toward obtaining our goals.   While at the same time, we may need to practice patience during a race to avoid kicking too soon and burning out or going out too fast and then not having the energy to finish well.   Those that know me, know that this is one of my biggest struggles.  And boy, did it come back to bite me in the biggest running race of my life -- the state cross-country championships my senior year in high school. 

Although our team won the state championship title in 1984 (the first and only state title for my high school for 30 years), I felt failure because I didn’t possess the patience to follow my game plan.  Surprisingly, this still bothers me today.  Yet the gratitude of having a fantastic group of teammates who rallied behind my lead and overcame the unthinkable odds (as Mead High School was considered unbeatable by the rest of the state), made it all worthwhile in the end.  This is an example of how sometimes God uses our weaknesses to make something greater!

My dad used to say, “Patience is a virtue.”  Not only have I held these words close to my heart, but I have to remind myself daily.  Of course, he also jokingly recited this pseudo-prayer, “God grant me patience and I WANT IT RIGHT NOW!”  (I’m a true believer that God has a sense of humor.)  Nonetheless, I’m sure this is another test that God is putting me through to make be a better, stronger and more PATIENT person. 

Patience is not the ability to wait, but how you act while you are waiting. – Joyce Meyer